Crescent Moon

I got accepted to the college I plan to go to.

I think I just squealed like a little girl.

Thank a veteran today. Give them a hug. Show the appreciation they deserve for fighting for our freedom.

Happy Veteran's Day

I don't understand.
I am having trouble focusing at the moment.

My baby girl, my sweet dog is... gone.

I am going to need some time to process this.

As of now, please do not call me. I am not ready to accept anything right now.

New tires. and they are WHITEWALL!!!! :]

Today was an interesting drive back. I was headed along my way, no worries. My right rear tire went BOOM! I pulled to the side and checked out what happened. Tire tread was shredded, but tire was still intact. I decided to limp to next exit to a gas station and change tire. Called rents, they said exact thing I was thinking. I pulled on up to the next exit, pulled into a BP station. I took everything out of trunk and put it in back seat. Got everything out, put parking brake on and started jacking up car. First guy comes by, asking if I needed help. Politely told him I was good, kept on going. Second guy walks up, offers the same, I politely tell him no. My phone rings and it's my sister. She is FREAKING out. I calmly but very assertively told her "I AM FINE!" The guy backs away a little... I believe "whoaaa crazy bitch" ran through his mind. A third man comes up and offers assistance. This one does NOT leave me be. I understand he was trying to be nice, but after the third time of him offering help I kindly told him I was a southern girl and I knew how to change a tire. I appreciated him being nice, but I'm a stubborn, independent bitch and like HELL I am going to let anyone else work on my car unless it's a mechanic I trust. I can change a tire, no problem. If I can't, something is WRONG with me. So I made it back going friggin 55 mph. My four hour trip turned into 6 1/2 hours, but it was good alone time. I had some good self reflection and I'm accepting I'm a good person with a few quirks. :o]

so that's my story, enjoy.

AP today. woohoo. Another one tomorrow

This week has been absolutely horrendous. I have wanted to just crawl in a hole and hide for a week or two. I cannot wait until spring break.
Between testing, teachers, family, and other crap, this week needs to be over.

sleep is needed.

I am BURNT! ahh!

Things are going to work out.

Don't know why that feeling came over me, but it did. and I believe it.

I have bronchitis.


ew. I feel nasty.

Left early today because I'm having breathing issues.

so I'm going to doctor tomorrow.


hopefully all is well.

I think I am going to start a nice little countdown to the days before I can leave.

I didn't want to come back.

I want to go back, please.

A whole weekend with my mama, with her friends, it was just too good.


I hate coming back. bleh.

AC/DC was beyond amazing. The whole night was great and I'll never forget it.

This is strange. I'm done with ALL of my homework.

It's nice, though.

This made me cry because it touched me so much:



You are the single most loving, kind-hearted person I've ever met. You have so much love in your heart that I can hardly believe it. I hope that you'll never become a hardened cynic, or that even if you do you'll stay just as sweet and loving as you are now. You have never failed at making me feel better. And not just a temporary type of feel-better; the kind where I feel truly comforted. You are amazing.
: )


someone said that about me.



That just made my week.

So Mama sent me this article about dropping friends who are not good to have around. I found it amusing because I have already done that. I am working on one last one, which is being difficult. I am conflicted by it, especially with the situation. I have, however, dropped most of the friends down to acquaintances that cause more harm than good. All are unaware, so it's all good. I sound like a jerk, but oh well. Know what the difference is????? Munchkin is content, Munchkin feels good about herself. I have been able to focus on what is going on in my life rather than keeping myself stressed over things I cannot change. I feel better about who I am because I have focused my energy to bettering myself. You know what?

It's been great.

I feel like I have been better.

I cleaned my room. I gave everything a place, a purpose. I cleaned my life up. Everything I do has purpose and has its place.

I have a place, a purpose.

I just have to find it.

Yet...

I feel as if something good is coming. I feel like some great opportunity is headed my way.

I have loosened what binds me,
My eyes look above,
Soon I could be free,
The time I will love.

I realize that I am in charge of my attitude, I am the one who controls my life. I am trying my hardest to get a better attitude all the way around. About work, about life in general.

I had a good example of disciplining myself today:
I went to work, not in a good mood whatsoever. It was a dreary, grey day and the last thing I wanted to do was leave my bed. I started setting up for the birthday party and was in a real sour puss mood. I realized this and immediately told myself to suck it up and have fun. This attitude change made the day so much better.
Once the kids got there, it made it easier. I love to play with kids and have a good time with them. Sometimes it really disturbs me how much kids like me. It is flattering in a way and it is cute, too. When I asked all the kids to line up, they attacked me with hugs. The parents all laughed because the children nearly knocked me over. I shouldn't use children as an excuse to be playful and happy. I really felt happy. Children are so innocent, so pure. They love the innocent and simple things in life. That is beauty that is unsurpassed by anything in this world. That is why kittens, puppies, and any other baby animal is cute and adorable. They do things because they do not know better, they look small and innocent, which softens one's heart. At least once in a person's life they wish they could go back to being an innocent child, unknowing to the problems of the world and such. In a way, I agree. Children are in the best and happiest place.

That digressed quite a bit, but oh well.

That is what blogs are for, no?

something Mama and I talked about reminds me... about writing. Writing on paper is dying. The emotion is lost on the computer screen. Unless you put in brackets you were typing and crying, you will never remember shedding tears while writing something. You lose all emotional attachment to your writing.

Perhaps the new age isn't so amazing. The world continuily grows towards more apathy. Teenagers do stupid actions because they don't care and do not see a reason to care.

This world needs a wake up call.

I am so glad I received mine.

There is a new breath of life for me. I don't necessarily wish it came earlier. I learned a ton from stupid stuff I have done. I have realized I should not regret my actions, but simply learn from them. Regret is pointless, in all honesty. Learning is the best you can get out of anything. I am letting go of the stupid guilt I have felt for so long.

and the best part:
it's working.

I really love my new personal freedom.

I am an idiot.


New beginnings happen today.


Welcome new year, better Munchkin.

I wish I could say everything in one little journal post.

I wish I could express the emotions of a lost teenager in one little journal post.

I wish I could explain who I am. I can't, not even in a big, long, tedious journal post.

I wish I could tell everyone how I really feel, in real, breathing life.

I wish I could be the person I love to be.

I wish I could fix what is broken.

"Once a glass is shattered, you can glue the pieces back together, but there will always be fragments missing and the glass itself will never look nor be the same again. This is true of trust."

I wish I could just breathe.

I wish, for once, my life would not surround the prospect of escape.

I wish for total honesty.

I wish to know.

I wish to live.

I wish, I wish.

Action must follow.

change of mind, of heart.


Yet...

I know I keep everything inside.
I hide from others.
I don't like to be worried over.
I want to be able to have a friendship where my personal crap is not thrown out into the street.
I want a friendship for just... friendship.
Yet, I love for people to talk to me. It gives me purpose.
It gives me life.


I am one in my own.

this is my purpose- others alone.

Tell me your secrets, tell me your lives-
You give me purpose-


That all sounded very theatrical...

My happiness- is service.
It gives me purpose, meaning.
Let me help.


It makes me happy.

wow, everyone.
Sorry for being such a depressive bitch lately. I didn't realize I was complaining and whining so much.

I am okay, I am fine. There is nothing wrong with me.
STOP WORRYING.


Things are as they have always been, I've just been in a mind fuck lately.

Probably from lack of sleep.

So no worries, and chill out

=]